A Tech Executive’s Journey with Metastatic Breast Cancer: Lessons for All Women with Gayatri Aryan
Today’s woman dreamer, Gayatri Aryan, a Technology Executive and MIT Sloan Executive MBA graduate, shares her powerful and life-changing journey with breast cancer. Strong and Determined, Gayatri Aryan discusses the life lessons she learned from this experience to inspire women in the same situation, or navigating any adversity, health trauma, or challenge in their life. A true inspiration to us all, read Gayatri’s empowering story, her incredible insights on life, and her perspective on how to stay positive when life gives you lemons.
2017
It was the week of Thanksgiving when the call came to confirm my appointment with the oncologist. This was after two weeks of what felt like an unending chain of screening tests: mammograms, ultrasounds, set of breast/bone biopsies followed by MRI-Guided biopsies. Another day off, I’m thinking. It was just my third week at Virtustream as Director of Product Development. With an organization distributed around the globe (Massachusetts, Georgia, Utah, California and Bangalore/India), my days were crazy as it is! All this in the midst of an Executive MBA program I was pursuing at MIT Sloan School of Management. More than halfway done with the program, I was super excited about next semester’s Global Labs module, helping the Puerto Rico Government rebuild their power grids. I really don’t have time for this.
“It’s Stage II, the tumors are very small” said my oncologist “However, because there are multiple lesions in both breasts, we need to tag it as Stage III.” But I did get a mammogram just last year upon turning 40, per recommendation. I have no memory of the rest of the conversation, I just remember that I continued to look at Vikram. His eyes had welled up. “This is serious, Gayatri” I heard my oncologist say, rubbing my back.
How can this be? Can this be? I’m only 41, my kids are still so young (9 and 11). We started off in the first phase of grief: denial. Made an appointment at Dana Farber Cancer Institute (DFCI) to solicit a second opinion in the hopes that perhaps there is a way to turn the diagnosis back. Au contraire, it turned out that one of the lesions was very close to the rib cage. So, the oncologist at DFCI ordered a full body bone scan. For this I’ll be eternally grateful as it led to the final (and accurate!) diagnosis of my Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC).
Metastatic breast cancer (also referred to as stage IV or advanced breast cancer) is when cancer cells have spread from the breast to other areas of the body, such as the lymph nodes, liver, lungs, or bones. When cancer cells have traveled away from the breast to other parts of the body, they are called metastases. Few surprising characteristics to note about MBC:
It cannot be cured, not yet anyways. Unlike breast cancer that remains in the breast or nearby lymph nodes, you can't get rid of all the cancer that has spread to other parts of the body. However, it can be treated. Therefore, treatment focuses on extending life and improving quality of life. A typical pattern is to take a treatment regimen as long as it keeps the cancer under control and the side effects are tolerable. When it stops working, a patient will be switched to another (harsher) treatment option.
Although MBC spreads to other parts of the body, it’s still breast cancer and is treated as such. For example, breast cancer that has spread to the bones is still breast cancer (not bone cancer). It’s not the same as cancer that starts in the bone.
#MBC #CancerForLife: there really is no other way to answer the prognosis question.
2020
“To say that life has changed would be such a cliche. And the dichotomy is stark. But that’s not what this piece is about. This piece is about few reflections on my journey so far”
It’s been almost three years of treatment now. To say that life has changed would be such a cliche. And the dichotomy is stark. But that’s not what this piece is about. This piece is about few reflections on my journey so far:
Self awareness: You and only you are the best judge of changes in your body. Be aware and act on the changes observed!
Screening tests: Like all things in life, they are not perfect. This includes mammograms. Especially in younger women, dense breasts makes screening mammograms less effective.
Second opinion: Misdiagnosis seems rampant in the world of Cancer. While there will be a strong urge to get going on the treatment as soon as possible, do take the time to get a second (or third) opinion.
Back office: As the patient journeys through the roller coaster ride of treatment options, insurance coverage gets super complicated super quickly. If the hospital’s billing department is well structured, it will literally improve your quality of life, no kidding, as you will spend less time understanding and negotiating every invoice.
Self advocacy: What can I say about this, it’s more important than ever to advocate for your situation.
Community: I cannot insist on joining a community enough. With candor I’ll confess that cancer treatment is an extremely personal journey. However, there is so much strength in knowing that you are not alone. For all you know, you may end up lending a hand to a fellow cancer patient and that is powerful.
Mental game: It may sound ironic but MBC has been liberating for me. It has encouraged me to shed the unwarranted obligations and inhibitions. I believe that I’ve been able to achieve this mindset because I try to stay away from the question of “why me”.
Share your ride: As Morgan Harper Nichols said “Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become a page in someone else’s survival guide.”
So, when life gives you lemons… make lemonade, lemon cake or neembu-ka-achar (lemon pickle). Coz this is it, what you have is today. Literally!
Bio: Gayatri Aryan is a seasoned leader with over two decades of experience in high-tech, finance, and consulting. Currently as Director of Product Development at Dell Technologies, she heads multiple products from inception to intervention. Gayatri values vision and execution while working through startups and Fortune 500 companies alike. Having graduated from MIT Sloan with an Executive MBA, Gayatri is advising multiple startups at the digital juxtaposition. A firm believer in giving back, Gayatri is an active member of various communities: as President-elect for MIT Club of Boston, on her town’s PTO Board, as Chair of Hindi Manch’s Baal-Yuva Vibhaag to name a few. She abodes with her family in Newton, MA.